The East and the West.

How far apart are they, really? No matter how far East you go, you will always be going East, and you will never reach the west. Conversely, no matter how far Wast you go, you will always be going West and never reach the East. So when I listen to this song I can just picture someone trying to find out how far the East is from the West and finding out that you would just keep going. So when I ask myself how far the East is from the West I know that it is infinite.

That encourages me and I hope it encourages you too! To think that God casts your sins as far as the East is from the West, and to know that that is infinitely farther away than ANYTHING we could ever measure! How amazing is that? Pretty darned amazing, if I do say so myself!

What makes me think about all this? Well yesterday I had a backslide- I gave in to some temptations that I am sure will never fully go away (They will probably lessen as I {hopefully}grow in maturity and in my faith with the Lord), and went pretty far before a network crash on my computer caused me to "wake up" and realize that I was being incredibly stupid. I twas 1:30 when I got to sleep. I slept through my alarm but was thankfully up in time to throw on some clothes and maybe only be a couple minutes late to bible study. Only to find out that my car would not start. By this time I started to feel paranoid and like I was being spiritually attacked. And then I realized this had been a feeling I had been having for a long time now.

I called my Mentor, because I HAD to be at bible study that morning or else I would probably just go back to my computer for the day, and she was able to secure me a ride to bible study. At study we talked about our spouses (oops, wait, I do not have one! So in my case we talked about how I can pray for my future spouse). After study I was dropped off at my Mentor's house where I practically made myself sick thinking about what I had to tell her, and when I finally did she had something along these lines to tell me (Keep in mind that I am heavily paraphrasing because my memory is pretty much shot):

I still love you. You know that I've been where you are, and that if I judged you for it I would have to judge myself. I won't even yell at you for this, although that doesn't mean I agree with your actions and choices. You're probably being harder on yourself than I could ever be, anyways.

And that is the thing that relieves me (That she still loves me, no matter what I tell her about my ugly side, and that she will not judge me for it either). I mean, knew she had told me that from the beginning, but my head can sometime be so full of Satan's lies that I take them for truth you know?

Anyways, I am so much better, now that I got everything off my chest before it could have blown up in my face! I definitely still have to do a lot of work to get back to where I was, and then even more so to get past where I was to where I need to be. So, no that I have thoroughly confused many of you (Or just the one person who reads my blog...) I must leave. Because I cannot pull another late night!

Please continue to pray for me, and I will continue to pray for my readers (Bet you did not know that I prayed for my readers, eh? Well I just started not too long ago...)

Thanks for reading!

~Kai Rennegade