But I am not going to worry about it. Because I have given it to God. I did that today, you know- gave everything that I had been holding back to God. All of it. I decided that I should, because what good is it for me to hold on to all that useless stuff anyways? Just so I can have an illusion of control over some area of my life? I do not think so! So Yeah. And if ever anyone sees (hears, reads etc.) me trying to hold on to something that should be God's, then give me a sound smack, will you?
In other news, the last weekend of my summer vacation is coming to a close. And I could not think of a better way to spend it than I already have! Saturday night I babysat for my Mentor, and then spent the night in a tent with her eldest daughter. We had the little zip down "windows" open and I pointed out saying, "Look, there's the stars!" to which she replied with, "Oh! They're wishing stars!", this was cute so I prompted her to make a wish, but she insisted I go first, so I wished that someday my prince would come.
"Oh, I didn't know you wanted to be a princess!" was the reply to that wish that I got.
"Well sure," was all I could really say, then I told her it was her turn to make a wish, and the wish she made totally floored me (Except for I was already laying down, so I guess it is more acurate to say I almost bawled right then and there).
"Well... I wish... To be the best babysitter like you when I grow up!" I was choked up so I could barely tell her what a good wish it was and how I expected it would come true! It was the most precious thing I have ever heard! To think that some little girl wants to be like me? That is a concept I find truly hard to grasp. Part of me wants to say, "No kid, you don't wanna be like me. I'm messed up." But I know she does not see that part of me. She only sees the side of me that has been living in God's grace!
Oh wow... I cannot write anymore about it, because it is making me want to cry... although the other thing I wanted to blog about is equally tear-jerking (in my case, anyways). Today, I went to a goodbye party for my two friends who joined the service. Vash and Phillycheese. Vash especially is why I am getting so sad. He keeps updating his own blog the closer it gets to his leaving, and most of his posts are about how he's scared of changing, and how he does not want to pull away from his friends, but the closer he tries to pull them the farther away they seem to get. I just want to hug him and tell him that I am not pulling away, and that I am going to miss him so much! it really sucks, because I used to have this ginormous crush on him in 8th grade, and he was completely oblivious because he was quiet and shy at church. And then I went and dated his brother and so it would be awkward if I told him I still kind of crush on him from time to time!
Bah. Anyways, I played Letters from War for them at their party, of course it was not a very good version because I tabbed out the whole thing by ear, and then got so nervous when I went to play it for them I literally FORGOT how it started out. Ughhhh! But I am glad I got to go and celebrate them before they go!
By the way if you want to listen to Letters from War click here! It is an awesome song and I recommend giving it a listen, especially if you have someone you know in the service!
So yep, I am going to leave you here for the night, tomorrow is my first day at college! So I will see you later! Thanks for reading, as always!
~Kai Rennegade
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