I Am an Idiot.

Not doing to good tonight. My week was sort of "ehh" for the first half, amazing for the second half, and the start of the weekend I have work and I was GOOD for the most part until my effing klutzy self has to go and get ANOTHER burn- this time on my hand where it effing hurts- and get sent home 20 minutes early. And it's still burning. And because I am stupid and an idiot (That is redundant, I know) and I felt like I needed to relax I'll tell you what I did.

Do you know what I did? I got into my parents' liquor cabinet. That's what i did. And now I'm having my cherry coke and whiskey (Which tastes weird because it's cherry coke and not regular) and I'm a blooming idiot. That's what I am.

I'm super pissed off at myself.

IN other grand, non-idiotic, news: I was asked out on Thursday. and I said I would hang out with this guy who is almost 6 years older than me who swears like a sailor (Whoops, wrong branch... but he was in the military) and smokes 3 cigars in the space of an hour, and apparently has the hots for me and thought i was older than I looked. Least I'm not jailbait I guess. But I'm still an idiot. My gosh.

I'm messed up. For real. I need, I dunno, some help or something. Or a nice Christian guy to man up and ask me out. Because I don't know how I'm going to make it in college with these guys banging down my door for my number and etc. I'm scared I'm not gonna keep my standards. That I'm gonna drop them sooner or later. I don't want to. But I do? My gosh.

Well shoot. Now I have to tell my Mentor about this little misadventure with alcohol. Ef.

I'd better go before I do more damage or something.

Geez.

~Kai Rennegade