Tuesday I left my wallet in my mom's car and she went to work. I locked my keys in my car in another town so I had to get someone to drive me back to my town to get the spare from my mom who was still at work. On the way back we forgot to get my car in our hurry to get to my interning stuff, so all my intern stuff was left in my locked car and I wasn't able to get my important things done. I stayed up really late doing homework that I forgot was due the next day.
Wednesday I nearly slept through my morning classes because I was so dead tired, nearly bawled in Film because we watched Life is Beautiful, then I walked home and ate a banana and went to my Mentor's house where I did have fun and was more relaxed. Then I went home and did more homework until late in the night.
Today I had classes as usual, went to bible study (CRU biblestudy at school), and then I get home (Walked of course, on an empty stomach) and get on the computer and try to relax. I get fed up with my internet because it's acting up and I went to read a book. then when it gets to dinner time I'm not hungry so I'm just sitting with my family (Something that doesn't happen often, and here's why) eating garlic bread just to be eating. I get up to grab a drink and I admit I was complaining when I said that there was only limeade in the freezer (Which I believe is gross). And then I stub my toe on the way back to the table and so I start whining about that (It's been a hard week remember? And I've been trying to keep my outlook positive) and my mom says.
"Kai, you have a problem."
"Yeah, what's that mom?"
"You're a glass half-empty person."
Well then I start arguing that I am only when it HAS been a glass half-empty day to which my sister has to point out that every day must be a glass half-empty day and I reply that it HAS been that way for a while. And then my mom has the nerve to say,
"Oh, 'boo hoo, my birthday didn't get celebrated like i wanted so I'll have everyone else throw me a party'!" and that hurt me so bad, you have no idea because it was NOT like that and everyone refuses to see it how I saw it!
It was not that we didn't celebrate my birthday, I'm perfectly used to having people not come to a birthday party and just hanging out at home on my birthdays! It was that we had made PLANS to celebrate it and then we didn't because my dad thought leftovers would be better than spending money on my birthday and instead saying we would get Jimmy Johns after church on Sunday on our way to a FUNERAL. Which does NOT make that my birthday celebration, that makes it a CHEAP COP-OUT!
To top that off I wrote a note telling my parents how I felt and they MOCKED me for it in front of my aunt and uncle and made me feel like I was being childish, which maybe I was but you know what I'm STILL HURT. I still hurt and NO ONE apologized to me!
I've been trying so hard to forgive and to forget and to just deal with my week and rely on God to get me through these times, but I'm not getting ANYTHING. I'm so stressed out and tired all the time, and I don't have time to sleep if I'm doing homework or working or something like that.
UGHH! I want to scream! I want to scream and swear and throw a fit and cry! And I want out. I want out of this house period.
Ugh. I'm going to Intersection with CRU tonight. I hope that will lift my spirits.
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